Starting January 31st when I broke my leg in two places, began what I hope will be the worst six weeks of my life. Please allow me to share why it has been terrible in timeline form
Jan 31 - Broken leg, out of work for a week
Feb 7 - Surgery on broken leg, out of work for a week and a day
Feb 24 - After two days of pain in my calf, the doctor sent me to the hospital to look for a blood clot, and sure enough one formed. I started on aspirin twice a day to resolve that issue
Feb 26 - I developed what I thought was gas pain at dinner, and it would not go away. I thought I ate too many grapes
Feb 27 - I skipped church due to my lower right quadrant pain. Josh did some research and thought it sounded like appendicitis. I called my mom and she told me to go to the hospital. I called the doctor on call from my office, and he told me it sounded like appendicitis and told me to go to the hospital. A trip to the ER and CT scan confirmed that I would have an appendectomy that night.
Feb 28 - I was released from the hospital to go home and recover. The doctor encouraged me to be as mobile as possible with a broken leg and abdominal pain
March 1 - I was in a lot of pain in my shoulder, back and chest. During the appendectomy the doctor filled my abdomen with gas. He said that it would cause shoulder pain as the gas reabsorbed into my system. Well I thought was being a baby that couldn't handle the pain, and tried to sleep through it.
March 2 - I woke up at 1am (Wed am)in terrible pain, and could barely breathe. I had another hour before I could take more pain killers so I laid in bed squeezing Josh's hand and tried my best to breathe before I could take more medicine. At 2:30am the pain was diminished just enough for me to crutch upstairs and out to the car. We drove to the ER again simply because I needed something stronger for pain. They took my vitals and found my blood pressure to be 80/50 and temp was 96.0. They went through the whole process to hook me up to fluids, draw blood, and ordered another CT. The results showed blood clots in both lungs and pneumonia. They admitted me into the critical care unit of the hospital to monitor me closely. I begged and begged for more pain meeds, but the nurses in that department didn't seem to be bothered by how much I was hurting. The always ask out of 10 what is your pain level. There were many times it was at a 10.
March 2- (later), I met with the doctor and he wanted to get my pain under control. He ordered morphine which was nice when I would throw up my pain meeds and they wouldn't give me more. I was transferred to the medical floor and had much better nurses, that took good care of me.
March 4 - I was released from the hospital.
What this means?
I have been of work (again) until I am off narcotics, and will go back part time until I have my strength back.
I have been sleeping in a twin bed and Josh is on the couch so that I don't have to go up and down the stairs. My lung capacity is significantly diminished.
I am going to be on blood thinners for the next three to six months, with regular blood draws to test the clotting level of my blood.
I am praying that I will not experience any additional complications or health problems in the near future.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Not a fun week
Well I cannot blame my lack of posting on being too busy. Since Monday afternoon I have been out of bed very little. And this is why...
Monday morning I was heading out the door for work when my foot slipped out from under me with a twist and I landed flat on my back. After screaming for a little bit, one of my current roommates (landlord? I know this is a whole other post) heard me and came out to see what was wrong. I replied with "I need to go to the hospital." He went to get Josh and they worked together to get me into a car and I headed to urgent care for x-rays. They told me that indeed my tibia and fibula were both broken and sent me over to Orthopedics. The doctor there recommended surgery but said that I did not have to do it. He ordered me to lay down with my toes above my heart for at least one week and if I decided to have surgery it would be on Monday 2/7.
So this week I have been in bed, sleeping, resting, watching movies, doing some(very little) homework, playing with little boys, and hanging out with friends. The pain medicine makes me very sleepy and nauseated when I take it without food. This means that when I have woken up at 4am because the medication has worn off, Josh has gotten out of bed and heated up rice so that I have something in my stomach when I take the pills. He has done so much for me this week and I have been learning to rely on him and other people for to meet my needs. This has been a hard lesson for me and I have six more weeks of it.
Maybe next week I will post about the job I was doing for two days before my accident and will go back to a week after surgery.
Also, it is bothering me that the picture in my header is not centered, but I have tried and tried but do not know how to center it. If you know how, I would love a tip.
So this week I have been in bed, sleeping, resting, watching movies, doing some(very little) homework, playing with little boys, and hanging out with friends. The pain medicine makes me very sleepy and nauseated when I take it without food. This means that when I have woken up at 4am because the medication has worn off, Josh has gotten out of bed and heated up rice so that I have something in my stomach when I take the pills. He has done so much for me this week and I have been learning to rely on him and other people for to meet my needs. This has been a hard lesson for me and I have six more weeks of it.
Maybe next week I will post about the job I was doing for two days before my accident and will go back to a week after surgery.
Also, it is bothering me that the picture in my header is not centered, but I have tried and tried but do not know how to center it. If you know how, I would love a tip.
Friday, November 12, 2010
New York
For my sister’s five year anniversary at her job, her boss flew us both to NYC, paid for our hotel in time square for four nights, got us tickets to two Broadway shows, and paid for a few fabulous meals. It was awesome.
Day One:
We arrived on Thursday at lunchtime, and took a bus and subway to our hotel. I knew it was close to time square, but until we got off the subway and walked up the stairs, I didn’t know how close to time square we were. It was right there. Our very first sight of New York city was Time Square, and it was awesome.
We checked into our hotel, which employed an odd number of attractive young men, and got to our room, which had a view of Time Square.
Then we headed over to Rockafeller Center, went to the top, and had an incredible view of the city. We saw the Empire State Building, The Chrysler Building, Brooklyn Bridge, Central Park, and even the Statue of Liberty.
Then, after a brief walk down fifth avenue, we went back to our hotel to rest up for dinner (sushi, yum) and Wicked. I am now so in love with Wicked, I would marry it. Then ice cream after dinner and bed.
Day Two:
We got up and made our way to Bouchon Bakery (I have been to the one in Napa and Las Vegas, and now NY). Then ate breakfast in Central Park. Walked and walked around Central park, it was very nice. So pretty in the fall!
Next we made our way over to the Upper West Side and grabbed hot dogs at Gray’s Papaya. Both Angela and I were brave and tried one with sour kraut, an it was actually good!
Friday Evening we went to see Promises Promises. It was super cute. And since we skipped dinner, we grabbed cheesecake for dinner.
Day Thee:
We had breakfast at the local market at Union Square park. Then down to Chinatown. We did a little shopping then tried to make our way to the Brooklyn bridge. After a little wondering, we finally found a pizza place for lunch in Brooklyn. Then we got back to Manhattan and found Wall Street, the NY Stock Exchange, the place where George Washington took the oath of office, the Wall Street bull, and ground zero.
A quick run to our hotel to drop off our stuff and back downtown to eat dinner.
Day 4:
We took the Staten Island ferry to see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. After three days of walking a ton we decided to make our own bus tour of the city. We had to take pictures at Park Avenue, Grand Central Terminal, The Chrysler Building, NY public library, Bryant Park. Then we explored Soho.
Day 5:
We really took it easy this day. We did a little shopping at Rockafeller Center, and Macy’s. We had to leave for the airport at 4pm, and we slept late so not much time.
All in all we had a great time, and I already want to go back. Thanks John Black.
Day One:
We arrived on Thursday at lunchtime, and took a bus and subway to our hotel. I knew it was close to time square, but until we got off the subway and walked up the stairs, I didn’t know how close to time square we were. It was right there. Our very first sight of New York city was Time Square, and it was awesome.
We checked into our hotel, which employed an odd number of attractive young men, and got to our room, which had a view of Time Square.
Then we headed over to Rockafeller Center, went to the top, and had an incredible view of the city. We saw the Empire State Building, The Chrysler Building, Brooklyn Bridge, Central Park, and even the Statue of Liberty.
Then, after a brief walk down fifth avenue, we went back to our hotel to rest up for dinner (sushi, yum) and Wicked. I am now so in love with Wicked, I would marry it. Then ice cream after dinner and bed.
Day Two:
We got up and made our way to Bouchon Bakery (I have been to the one in Napa and Las Vegas, and now NY). Then ate breakfast in Central Park. Walked and walked around Central park, it was very nice. So pretty in the fall!
Next we made our way over to the Upper West Side and grabbed hot dogs at Gray’s Papaya. Both Angela and I were brave and tried one with sour kraut, an it was actually good!
Friday Evening we went to see Promises Promises. It was super cute. And since we skipped dinner, we grabbed cheesecake for dinner.
Day Thee:
We had breakfast at the local market at Union Square park. Then down to Chinatown. We did a little shopping then tried to make our way to the Brooklyn bridge. After a little wondering, we finally found a pizza place for lunch in Brooklyn. Then we got back to Manhattan and found Wall Street, the NY Stock Exchange, the place where George Washington took the oath of office, the Wall Street bull, and ground zero.
A quick run to our hotel to drop off our stuff and back downtown to eat dinner.
Day 4:
We took the Staten Island ferry to see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. After three days of walking a ton we decided to make our own bus tour of the city. We had to take pictures at Park Avenue, Grand Central Terminal, The Chrysler Building, NY public library, Bryant Park. Then we explored Soho.
Day 5:
We really took it easy this day. We did a little shopping at Rockafeller Center, and Macy’s. We had to leave for the airport at 4pm, and we slept late so not much time.
All in all we had a great time, and I already want to go back. Thanks John Black.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
How we got to Branson
Here is they story of how we ended up in Branson, MO. (These dates may be off by a day or two).
June 21st - Josh was in California and found out about a 2nd assistant superintendent job in the Monterey area. He interviewed for it, but found out it was only for a greenskeeper position.
June 28th - He was offered the job of greenskeeper. We decided to take the job. The employer agreed to give Josh the job knowing that he would be looking for a better job. He would start July 12th (the same day my classes started in SoCA)
July 1st - Josh got a call from the superintendent at Top of the Rock golf course near Branson, MO. He wanted to interview him for the assistant superintendent position.
July 5th - We drove down to Branson for the interview. Things sounded very promising.
July 6th - We drove back to Buhler
July 7th - We started driving to California. At this point we were discussing what would happen if he were offered the job in Branson, but did not really come up with any final plans.
July 11th - Josh dropped me off in SoCA for school and he drove up to Monterey.
July 12th - Josh went into the new job and explained the situation. They both agreed that it would not be a good idea to start work if he were not going to continue to work there.
July 13th - Josh got an official offer from Top of the Rock. He had to decide by Friday July 16th
July 14th - The golf course in California wanted to talk with Josh about a 2nd assistant superintendent position.
July 15th - Josh interviewed for the 2nd Assistant superintendent position and they offered it to him right then.
July 16th - Josh talked with the VP of golf at Pebble Beach about the possibility of working at Pebble in the near future. They had a good chat and he didn't believe that anyone would be moving on any time soon, but whenever someone did, the job was Josh's. Josh spoke with the people at Top of the Rock and explained the situation so they agreed to give him until Monday July 19th.
July 17th - I am at a conference pretty much all day so we really didn't have any time to discuss the jobs.
July 18th - Josh and I talked on the phone quite a bit and just barely leaned toward Branson.
July 19th - Josh called and accepted the job in Branson and turned down the job in California.
July 24th - I flew from LA to Monterey.
July 25th - We went to our old church in Monterey, and this was one of the hardest things to say good-bye to (except for our really good friends out there), but we both felt comfortable with our decision after that.
July 29th - We packed our stuff in a u haul trailer.
July 30th - We left Monterey and made it to Barstow, CA. Our Jeep was having a difficult time pulling the trailer through the mountains. The rear end had been making quite a bit of noise and when we were going over passes, it was really bad. We tried to call u haul locations and none of them had a truck to switch to. We decided that it would be a bad idea to go through the hottest part of the desert during the afternoon sun. We got a hotel room in Barstow and thought we would sleep then leave at midnight. Without any options really, Josh's dad called and said he would drive their Yukon out to Arizona and he would pull the trailer. So at 6:30pm central time, he got in the car and drove west.
July 31st - Josh and I decided to leave at 4am and meet Jack in Western Arizona. We of course got there before he did and had a little breakfast, went to a dog friendly museum, and got a few supplies from the store. About 11am Jack met us and we moved the trailer over to his car. We got on the road again and Jack kept driving. He drove from Buhler, KS to Kingman, AZ and on to Albuquerque, NM without sleeping, it was about 28 hours.
August 1st - In OK City we took the Yukon and kept heading east, while Jack took our Jeep and headed back to Buhler. Josh and I stayed in Joplin that night.
August 2nd - Josh and I made it to our new home. The first place of our own since we left Bhutan.
August 4th - We surprised my parents that happened to be vacationing in Branson and told them we moved there.
August 6th - We drove back to Buhler to get some of our things that we left there and to trade vehicles.
August 8th - We drove back to Branson.
August 9th - Josh started his new job.
It was an eventful couple of months and I am glad it is over. We are settling into our new place and Josh is working like a crazy man.
June 21st - Josh was in California and found out about a 2nd assistant superintendent job in the Monterey area. He interviewed for it, but found out it was only for a greenskeeper position.
June 28th - He was offered the job of greenskeeper. We decided to take the job. The employer agreed to give Josh the job knowing that he would be looking for a better job. He would start July 12th (the same day my classes started in SoCA)
July 1st - Josh got a call from the superintendent at Top of the Rock golf course near Branson, MO. He wanted to interview him for the assistant superintendent position.
July 5th - We drove down to Branson for the interview. Things sounded very promising.
July 6th - We drove back to Buhler
July 7th - We started driving to California. At this point we were discussing what would happen if he were offered the job in Branson, but did not really come up with any final plans.
July 11th - Josh dropped me off in SoCA for school and he drove up to Monterey.
July 12th - Josh went into the new job and explained the situation. They both agreed that it would not be a good idea to start work if he were not going to continue to work there.
July 13th - Josh got an official offer from Top of the Rock. He had to decide by Friday July 16th
July 14th - The golf course in California wanted to talk with Josh about a 2nd assistant superintendent position.
July 15th - Josh interviewed for the 2nd Assistant superintendent position and they offered it to him right then.
July 16th - Josh talked with the VP of golf at Pebble Beach about the possibility of working at Pebble in the near future. They had a good chat and he didn't believe that anyone would be moving on any time soon, but whenever someone did, the job was Josh's. Josh spoke with the people at Top of the Rock and explained the situation so they agreed to give him until Monday July 19th.
July 17th - I am at a conference pretty much all day so we really didn't have any time to discuss the jobs.
July 18th - Josh and I talked on the phone quite a bit and just barely leaned toward Branson.
July 19th - Josh called and accepted the job in Branson and turned down the job in California.
July 24th - I flew from LA to Monterey.
July 25th - We went to our old church in Monterey, and this was one of the hardest things to say good-bye to (except for our really good friends out there), but we both felt comfortable with our decision after that.
July 29th - We packed our stuff in a u haul trailer.
July 30th - We left Monterey and made it to Barstow, CA. Our Jeep was having a difficult time pulling the trailer through the mountains. The rear end had been making quite a bit of noise and when we were going over passes, it was really bad. We tried to call u haul locations and none of them had a truck to switch to. We decided that it would be a bad idea to go through the hottest part of the desert during the afternoon sun. We got a hotel room in Barstow and thought we would sleep then leave at midnight. Without any options really, Josh's dad called and said he would drive their Yukon out to Arizona and he would pull the trailer. So at 6:30pm central time, he got in the car and drove west.
July 31st - Josh and I decided to leave at 4am and meet Jack in Western Arizona. We of course got there before he did and had a little breakfast, went to a dog friendly museum, and got a few supplies from the store. About 11am Jack met us and we moved the trailer over to his car. We got on the road again and Jack kept driving. He drove from Buhler, KS to Kingman, AZ and on to Albuquerque, NM without sleeping, it was about 28 hours.
August 1st - In OK City we took the Yukon and kept heading east, while Jack took our Jeep and headed back to Buhler. Josh and I stayed in Joplin that night.
August 2nd - Josh and I made it to our new home. The first place of our own since we left Bhutan.
August 4th - We surprised my parents that happened to be vacationing in Branson and told them we moved there.
August 6th - We drove back to Buhler to get some of our things that we left there and to trade vehicles.
August 8th - We drove back to Branson.
August 9th - Josh started his new job.
It was an eventful couple of months and I am glad it is over. We are settling into our new place and Josh is working like a crazy man.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Resume and Cover Letter
Since we are now in the process of settling in the Branson area, I get to work on my resume and start applying for jobs. Yea me (sarcasm warning)! I HATE composing a resume and cover letter. The formatting and layout is fun, it is the content that I don't like coming up with. Last year our computer crashed and I don't have anything saved at all. The problem is that no one knows exactly what I did at most of my jobs except me. UGH! So today I did the formatting and am happy with how it turned out. I also drafted a sample cover letter, but probably won't send it out. Here it is...
To Whom It May Concern:
Please, please, please give me a job. You see, I like things. And thy only way I can continue to get things is to have a job. I am also trying to pay for school and want another car. I think we can only be a one car family for so long, and there are way too many hills, and it is way too hot here for riding a bike everywhere.
One thing you should know about me is that I am very particular about what I do. I am tired of hating my job and it has been a really long time since I have liked a job. So I guess what I am saying is that I prefer not to do something crappy. Another important aspect of a job is that the workplace is not crazy stressful. What I am saying is that unnecessary stress really annoys me. You don’t need to yell at me if the date hasn’t been updated on a document. You can calmly say, “Can you please change the date.” I am more likely to enjoy the daily aspects of work if it is okay to laugh occasionally.
If I sound like someone who would fit in your work place, contact me to discuss details of an interview.
Cordially,
Cassie Adrian
To Whom It May Concern:
Please, please, please give me a job. You see, I like things. And thy only way I can continue to get things is to have a job. I am also trying to pay for school and want another car. I think we can only be a one car family for so long, and there are way too many hills, and it is way too hot here for riding a bike everywhere.
One thing you should know about me is that I am very particular about what I do. I am tired of hating my job and it has been a really long time since I have liked a job. So I guess what I am saying is that I prefer not to do something crappy. Another important aspect of a job is that the workplace is not crazy stressful. What I am saying is that unnecessary stress really annoys me. You don’t need to yell at me if the date hasn’t been updated on a document. You can calmly say, “Can you please change the date.” I am more likely to enjoy the daily aspects of work if it is okay to laugh occasionally.
If I sound like someone who would fit in your work place, contact me to discuss details of an interview.
Cordially,
Cassie Adrian
Coupon Adventure
One for sure thing is that I LOVE is getting a good deal. My mom is a bargain shopper and so am I. After reading several blogs on how to save money this is what I got from Walgreens today
The breakdown:
Nivia body wash - b1g1 free @ 5.99 on sale - $4 off 2 coupon = $1 a piece
Dial body wash - on sale for 3.99 - $1 coupon + $3 register rewards = free
Contact solution - on sale for $4.99 - $1 coupon + $4 register rewards = free
Aspirin - b1g1 free @ 3.49 - $2 off/1 -$2/1= $.50 money maker
pens - $1.99 - $1 in manufacturer coupon - $1 store coupon = free
( I needed batteries and they were $1 cheaper than wal-mart)
This makes my heart glad
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Returning to Normal
Today was Josh's third day of work at his new job. He has had quite the adjustment because of the heat. But we are here and have a place to ourselves. It has been nine months since we have had one place to call home. When we were staying with our parents communication was easier to always say "my parents" or "your parents." Now I find myself stumbling on what to call our home. I refer to it as "our place" or "our temporary house."
This is the fourth time we have made a major move four years. You would think we would be pros. You would think I would have a list of all the stuff I need to do, and all the places I need to change our address. Well you would be wrong. Each night I have laid in bed thinking "I've really got a lot done today" then the next thought is "Oh, I forgot about that, and that, and that." Even though I may feel a little overwhelmed, I praise the Lord that He has provided a job for Josh and a place to live. I praise Him for being merciful and not having us on that path any longer. And I am asking Him to let me grow to be more like Christ because of the past year.
I think the best part about our new location is that we have already seen my parents, my aunt, uncle, cousin, and cousin's two daughters, Josh's best man an his wife, sister, and parents. And my whole family is coming down here for Labor Day. Our place, until the end of September, has 2 queen size beds, two pull out couches, and if needed another twin bed. If you need to get away for the weekend, we would welcome visitors (even if Josh has to work all the time).
This is the fourth time we have made a major move four years. You would think we would be pros. You would think I would have a list of all the stuff I need to do, and all the places I need to change our address. Well you would be wrong. Each night I have laid in bed thinking "I've really got a lot done today" then the next thought is "Oh, I forgot about that, and that, and that." Even though I may feel a little overwhelmed, I praise the Lord that He has provided a job for Josh and a place to live. I praise Him for being merciful and not having us on that path any longer. And I am asking Him to let me grow to be more like Christ because of the past year.
I think the best part about our new location is that we have already seen my parents, my aunt, uncle, cousin, and cousin's two daughters, Josh's best man an his wife, sister, and parents. And my whole family is coming down here for Labor Day. Our place, until the end of September, has 2 queen size beds, two pull out couches, and if needed another twin bed. If you need to get away for the weekend, we would welcome visitors (even if Josh has to work all the time).
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Episode 4: Cursing
I recently heard a sermon by a very good preacher on Colossians 3:8. He did a great job with the first four things we are to put-off, but when he came to “offensive language”, he lost it. His point was that we should not use cuss words because they were offensive. The problem was he mad a general assumption that everyone is offended by cuss words, and this is just not true. I know quite a few people who are not at all offended by a swear word here or there, or swear words at all for that matter. If I were around a person or group of people that regularly used curse words, it would make sense that I could use the same language without being sinful.
My mom is offended by the word “stupid” and “butt,” so when I am I should avoid these words as well as what our culture considers cuss words.
Since my newfound discovery, my vocabulary has expanded just a bit.
Now if you know of any verses that would point to specific words that are wrong to say, please let me know.
Friday, June 25, 2010
06.25
In honor of the fifth anniversary of being Mrs. Adrian here is a little more from John Piper. Him and his wife used the same scripture in their wedding as Josh and I did in ours.
Habakkuk 3
Although the fig tree blossom not,
And all the vines of our small plot
Be barren, and the olive fail,
The sheep grow weak and heifers frail,
We will rejoice in God, my love,
And take our pleasures from above:
The Lord, our God, shall be our strength
And give us life, whatever length
On earth he please, and make our feet
Like mountain deer, to rise and cleat
The narrow path for man and wife
That rises steep and leads to life.
Habakkuk 3
Although the fig tree blossom not,
And all the vines of our small plot
Be barren, and the olive fail,
The sheep grow weak and heifers frail,
We will rejoice in God, my love,
And take our pleasures from above:
The Lord, our God, shall be our strength
And give us life, whatever length
On earth he please, and make our feet
Like mountain deer, to rise and cleat
The narrow path for man and wife
That rises steep and leads to life.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Interruption
I interrupt this series for a few words from John Piper
"A Season That Will Pass"
When God is over all the year,
White snow and virgin grass,
We know that ice will disappear,
And winter soon will pass.
When God is over all the year,
And lakes are crystal brass,
We know the melting too is near,
And frozen spring will pass.
When God is over all the year,
And trees are dipped in glass,
Each twig will shed its April tear,
And icy wind will pass.
When God is over all the year,
And March is dark, alas!
We know that dismal skies will clear,
And darkness too will pass.
When God is over all the year,
And wintry days harass,
We need not dread nor need we fear
A season that will pass.
"A Season That Will Pass"
When God is over all the year,
White snow and virgin grass,
We know that ice will disappear,
And winter soon will pass.
When God is over all the year,
And lakes are crystal brass,
We know the melting too is near,
And frozen spring will pass.
When God is over all the year,
And trees are dipped in glass,
Each twig will shed its April tear,
And icy wind will pass.
When God is over all the year,
And March is dark, alas!
We know that dismal skies will clear,
And darkness too will pass.
When God is over all the year,
And wintry days harass,
We need not dread nor need we fear
A season that will pass.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Episode 3: My Helpers
There are really three people in my life who helped me to evolve.
The first is my friend Jenni. I think she reads this blog. Jenni, I am so thankful that you showed me that you can glorify God in breaking the rules! You took this girl who didn’t know what the world was like and with grace beyond yourself helped me to see God through lenses that I didn’t even know existed. You helped me to think about God in a totally different way. I think you awakened my rebellious side.
The second is my husband. Before I knew him he hosted a “drink to the glory of God party.” He showed me that sin is not about actions as much as it is about the heart. A single action can either be good or bad depending on the heart issues. (I say this recognizing that there are certain things that God specifically says are not appropriate and He cannot be glorified in) He drank (not to get drunk), he smoked (a pipe on rare occasions), and he cussed (without being offensive). (Dad, he is still a great husband). Never in my life did I think I would marry a man that did any of these things, but I am so glad I did.
The third is my friend Alicia. I don’t think she reads this blog. I may send her a link so she can read her impact on my life. Alicia, you gave me my first sip of wine and I will be grateful until the day I die. You think about an issue and develop an opinion that is in line with what God teaches in His Word. You epitomize grace and truth. When I use the term “gracefully blunt” I say that with admiration because that is what God calls us to. You are able to say what you feel and can call people out without sounding prideful (you may have pride in your heart, but God works allows it to come out beautifully).
And I have to give credit to The Masters College. I don’t think they set out to teach me to be rebellious, but I have learned through them that if it is not biblical it is not a cross on which to die.
The first is my friend Jenni. I think she reads this blog. Jenni, I am so thankful that you showed me that you can glorify God in breaking the rules! You took this girl who didn’t know what the world was like and with grace beyond yourself helped me to see God through lenses that I didn’t even know existed. You helped me to think about God in a totally different way. I think you awakened my rebellious side.
The second is my husband. Before I knew him he hosted a “drink to the glory of God party.” He showed me that sin is not about actions as much as it is about the heart. A single action can either be good or bad depending on the heart issues. (I say this recognizing that there are certain things that God specifically says are not appropriate and He cannot be glorified in) He drank (not to get drunk), he smoked (a pipe on rare occasions), and he cussed (without being offensive). (Dad, he is still a great husband). Never in my life did I think I would marry a man that did any of these things, but I am so glad I did.
The third is my friend Alicia. I don’t think she reads this blog. I may send her a link so she can read her impact on my life. Alicia, you gave me my first sip of wine and I will be grateful until the day I die. You think about an issue and develop an opinion that is in line with what God teaches in His Word. You epitomize grace and truth. When I use the term “gracefully blunt” I say that with admiration because that is what God calls us to. You are able to say what you feel and can call people out without sounding prideful (you may have pride in your heart, but God works allows it to come out beautifully).
And I have to give credit to The Masters College. I don’t think they set out to teach me to be rebellious, but I have learned through them that if it is not biblical it is not a cross on which to die.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Episode 2 Why Not?
Why not be a goody two shoe?
I had a lot of subconscious pride when I looked down on people whose actions did not align with what I considered “good.” My thoughts were sinful because of the way I was raised to think about things such as drinking, drugs, and sex. Because I was so concerned with the action I was not being full of the Spirit.
Romans 8:1-2 says “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death”
What should be our focus? The law of freedom in Christ or the law of sin and death? And what about “not condemnation for those who are in Christ?” This isn’t saying that I can do anything I want and glorify God, but when we do sin that we should not be overwhelmed by guilt. Jesus’s blood took away that guilt. So if we aren’t stuck in a pit of guilt, why should I want other people to be?
I had a lot of subconscious pride when I looked down on people whose actions did not align with what I considered “good.” My thoughts were sinful because of the way I was raised to think about things such as drinking, drugs, and sex. Because I was so concerned with the action I was not being full of the Spirit.
Romans 8:1-2 says “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death”
What should be our focus? The law of freedom in Christ or the law of sin and death? And what about “not condemnation for those who are in Christ?” This isn’t saying that I can do anything I want and glorify God, but when we do sin that we should not be overwhelmed by guilt. Jesus’s blood took away that guilt. So if we aren’t stuck in a pit of guilt, why should I want other people to be?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
One Bad Shoe
Get it, goody two shoe? One bad shoe? If anyone got the joke of my title before I explained it, please let me know. I am genetically cursed to enjoy bad jokes.
I am going to try to do a blog series on my transformation from a goody two shoe to "one bad shoe". My prayer is that God will allow me to use this topic to express grace and truth with my words.
Welcome to episode 1.
In high school I was definitely a “good girl” and I was proud of it. But honestly, it was easy. God blessed me with an incredible group of friends who did not fit the mold of a normal teenager. Our idea of a fun night was just hanging out and talking or watching a movie. Really, that’s not normal and I recognize that now.
In college I found a few really good friends who didn’t fit that mold that I was used to. They respected my decisions and welcomed me into their group and their parties. I have fond memories of having cooking night with my friend who was a trained chef.
These people opened up my minds to how to love people that were different from me. They didn’t provide me with community, but I had that in my roommates.
After graduating and my Christian bubble deflated I slowly grew to seek that I wanted to surround myself with a diverse group of friends. I need people in my life that will love and encourage me in my faith, but I also needed people that I could love and share Jesus with.
It has been at least half a decade of seeing myself not as a goody two shoe, but as one bad shoe.
I am going to try to do a blog series on my transformation from a goody two shoe to "one bad shoe". My prayer is that God will allow me to use this topic to express grace and truth with my words.
Welcome to episode 1.
In high school I was definitely a “good girl” and I was proud of it. But honestly, it was easy. God blessed me with an incredible group of friends who did not fit the mold of a normal teenager. Our idea of a fun night was just hanging out and talking or watching a movie. Really, that’s not normal and I recognize that now.
In college I found a few really good friends who didn’t fit that mold that I was used to. They respected my decisions and welcomed me into their group and their parties. I have fond memories of having cooking night with my friend who was a trained chef.
These people opened up my minds to how to love people that were different from me. They didn’t provide me with community, but I had that in my roommates.
After graduating and my Christian bubble deflated I slowly grew to seek that I wanted to surround myself with a diverse group of friends. I need people in my life that will love and encourage me in my faith, but I also needed people that I could love and share Jesus with.
It has been at least half a decade of seeing myself not as a goody two shoe, but as one bad shoe.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Err!
(Josh playing with his new cameras (yes plural), but this picture was not shot with a new one. I think I look angry)
I wouldn't describe myself as an angry person. You know who I am talking about, the girl who always seems to be mad at something. I have never thought of myself as that person. Well I learned something about myself this week. Sunday I was told to put off anger. This made me realize just how much anger I harbored in my heart. Not an easy thing to do. I realized how not so slow to anger I really am. While working at this challenge I decided the easiest way for me to not be angry was to just not have an emotional response to anything. Anything that made me angry, I would push out of my mind. With the situation we are in lots of things are making me angry. I know what you're thinking, it wasn't a healthy idea (If I actually do become a counselor, don't tell any of my counselees about this post). But starting Sunday night, I forced myself to not respond to anything that would anger me. Now there are some people out there, bless their hearts, who are conflict avoiders. I am not one of them. This afternoon when I finally got a few minutes of alone time with Josh, I let it out (by the grace of God, there were
Monday, May 17, 2010
That's all?
I just got done taking my first online quiz. It was over 12 Bible verses. I have been working for the past three weeks at memorizing these verses word for word. If made sure the I had the correct tense of a verbs and concentrated on subject-verb agreement. Basically I had every letter perfect!
Josh sat beside me to ensure I wouldn't cheat.
I logged on to the website and started with a little nervousness in my stomach.
Once the page loaded all the verses I memorized were on the page written word for word. All I had to do was match them with the correct passage. WHAT? THAT'S IT? Now don't get me wrong, I think that only positive will follow memorizing Bible verses but I was a little disappointed. After less than a minute I had double checked my answers and submitted my quiz. The results were instant and yes I did get 100% I was pretty disappointed that it wasn't harder
Josh told me that the reason I was upset was because I am actually good at memorizing things so this area that I excel in wasn't tested being tested thoroughly. Well shucks.
Josh sat beside me to ensure I wouldn't cheat.
I logged on to the website and started with a little nervousness in my stomach.
Once the page loaded all the verses I memorized were on the page written word for word. All I had to do was match them with the correct passage. WHAT? THAT'S IT? Now don't get me wrong, I think that only positive will follow memorizing Bible verses but I was a little disappointed. After less than a minute I had double checked my answers and submitted my quiz. The results were instant and yes I did get 100% I was pretty disappointed that it wasn't harder
Josh told me that the reason I was upset was because I am actually good at memorizing things so this area that I excel in wasn't tested being tested thoroughly. Well shucks.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Bhutan
Before Josh and I left Bhutan I wondered if I would miss it. After six weeks in Turkey, I knew I would miss it. After six weeks in China, I knew I would miss it. And I did/do long to return to both countries. But Bhutan was different. I struggled there, and was in a constant state of worry. At night I would lie awake overwhelmed with fear. I loved nights that Josh would let me fall asleep to the TV rather than the thoughts in my head. Eventually I learned to pray through my anxiety.
It has been four months since I said goodbye to the place my heart never called home.
When I was there I volunteered my time at a school about five minutes from our house. There was an expat named Liz teaching 3rd and 4th graders and I met her through the golf coach that was there when Josh and I got there. She welcomed an extra body in the classroom. Since the school year ended in December she came back to the US the same time we did. Recently I learned that she was going to go back to Bhutan to open a preschool. As I read her blog posts I wonder if we were actually in the same country. She speaks of how friendly the people are and how beautiful the culture is. Seriously where is she? Liz is not the only one either; it seems like everyone who has ever traveled to Bhutan absolutely loves it. Quite frankly, I was jealous of her experience for a long time.
Josh and I have had Bhutanese people on our hearts since before we were married. On several occasions I had asked Josh if he could go anywhere in the world, where would it be. His response was always Bhutan. Because it is so difficult to get into the country I never saw this as an option. When the opportunity to go came our way, we couldn’t say no. This was God letting us serve Him in Bhutan, and I still believe that is true.
So why didn’t Iove it? Why after praying for the people for years do I have such a negative view of the country? Why couldn’t I have experience what Liz did? After wrestling with these questions over the past four months, I think I have my answer. Bhutan has a very rich culture. But almost everything about the culture is Buddhist.
The paintings, the music, the decorations, the architecture, it is all tied to Buddhism. If I fell in love with Bhutanese culture, it would be equivalent to falling in love with a Buddhist culture. And Buddhism is just so ugly!
You couldn't look at creation without seeing the enemy.
My heart still breaks for the people of Bhutan.
They are so blinded by evil that they cannot see Truth. The lies of Buddhism keep the mask over their faces so they cannot see the Glory of God. I am still praying for the country, but I don’t want to go back.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
A Poem not by me.
I read this poem written by John Piper to Josh recently.
But when I called to you that night,
And said, “Noël, I think I might
Just sell the house and car and go
To some far distant land to sow
The gospel where no one has gone
And make the light of Jesus dawn,”
Your voice unwavering came back,
And said, “Just tell me when to pack.”
This short conversation followed:
Me: I don't think I could respond like that.
Josh: But you did.
Me: Let me clarify. I don't think I could respond like that again.
But when I called to you that night,
And said, “Noël, I think I might
Just sell the house and car and go
To some far distant land to sow
The gospel where no one has gone
And make the light of Jesus dawn,”
Your voice unwavering came back,
And said, “Just tell me when to pack.”
This short conversation followed:
Me: I don't think I could respond like that.
Josh: But you did.
Me: Let me clarify. I don't think I could respond like that again.
5-6 marks the spot
Today is May 6, 2010. Why is this date significant? Exactly one year ago today Josh was let go from Pebble Beach. This past year has been full of challenges and learning. I read today in Hebrews 5:8 that Jesus learned obedience from what he suffered. I am confident I have learned a lot through this suffering year and I know God is using it to make me more like Jesus. During the first months of transition, I struggled to understand how to be "sorrowful, but always rejoicing" (2 Cor 6:10), really I think I struggled with that up until a few weeks ago.
Recently one of my assigned books to read and write about was Idols of the Heart By Elyse Fitzpatrick. Through reading this book I have been able to see what I was worshiping that kept me from rejoicing. I learned that my anxieties so obviously showed I did not trust that God was good. I have had to just believe Romans 8:28, "that God works all things together for good for those who are called according to His purposes." What a relief that this whole year has been a part of God's perfect plan for my life.
In the words of John Newton "If it were possible for me to alter any part of His plan, I could only spoil it"
This past year has definitely been full of adventure.
Recently one of my assigned books to read and write about was Idols of the Heart By Elyse Fitzpatrick. Through reading this book I have been able to see what I was worshiping that kept me from rejoicing. I learned that my anxieties so obviously showed I did not trust that God was good. I have had to just believe Romans 8:28, "that God works all things together for good for those who are called according to His purposes." What a relief that this whole year has been a part of God's perfect plan for my life.
In the words of John Newton "If it were possible for me to alter any part of His plan, I could only spoil it"
This past year has definitely been full of adventure.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Reluctant Adventurer
(here is a picture of me on an adventure, hiking to a Buddhist monastery built on the face of a cliff. okay so really I am taking a break at the half way point and was not paying attention when this cow wanted to be friendly)
I changed the name of my blog. It was “1 mile to the pacific,” but it has been a long time since I’ve been that close to the ocean. I have told Josh many times that I am not an adventurous person, and he completely agrees. You may be thinking “but Cassie you moved to Bhutan for crying out loud.” While that is true, I dreaded going there in my heart. Whenever I think about adventure I picture someone pulling me with a rope and my heals are leaving ruts because they are so firmly planted on the ground. I am not sure exactly what I fear. In extreme circumstances it is death, or the death of someone I love. Sometimes it is awkwardness, or uncomfortably. So the new name is “Reluctant Adventurer.” Hopefully through this blog I can communicate how these adventures I don’t desire mold me to become a more like Jesus.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Homeless Homebody
I used to long for a house. I love HGTV and any show about buying or selling a house. I wanted to put my own touches on a place, and really see what my design style is. I was tired of throwing away money on rent each month.
Now, I long for a home. A place to call my own. The past four months have been bearable by the grace of God.
I am about at my limit though. Mostly I want comfort. I want to be in one place for more than four days. I am tired of carrying my clear plastic tubs to and from the car. In the past 9 months I have slept in 39 different beds. Last week I walked outside to the jeep to get clean underwear twice! As I typed that I realized that I left all of my underwear at the house I was at last night. Oops. Well I guess I will be at the store early tomorrow.
This week I have been gloomy, crabby, and just plain mean (no I am not PMSing). Josh and I have been married for almost five years and this is the hardest I have ever worked fighting for a healthy relationship (And I am not succeeding). I am selfish and give in to my desire to blame Josh for everything. Sometimes I wonder if I can put on my happy face.
Now, I long for a home. A place to call my own. The past four months have been bearable by the grace of God.
I am about at my limit though. Mostly I want comfort. I want to be in one place for more than four days. I am tired of carrying my clear plastic tubs to and from the car. In the past 9 months I have slept in 39 different beds. Last week I walked outside to the jeep to get clean underwear twice! As I typed that I realized that I left all of my underwear at the house I was at last night. Oops. Well I guess I will be at the store early tomorrow.
This week I have been gloomy, crabby, and just plain mean (no I am not PMSing). Josh and I have been married for almost five years and this is the hardest I have ever worked fighting for a healthy relationship (And I am not succeeding). I am selfish and give in to my desire to blame Josh for everything. Sometimes I wonder if I can put on my happy face.
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