Bhutan

Before Josh and I left Bhutan I wondered if I would miss it. After six weeks in Turkey, I knew I would miss it. After six weeks in China, I knew I would miss it. And I did/do long to return to both countries. But Bhutan was different. I struggled there, and was in a constant state of worry. At night I would lie awake overwhelmed with fear. I loved nights that Josh would let me fall asleep to the TV rather than the thoughts in my head. Eventually I learned to pray through my anxiety.

It has been four months since I said goodbye to the place my heart never called home.

When I was there I volunteered my time at a school about five minutes from our house. There was an expat named Liz teaching 3rd and 4th graders and I met her through the golf coach that was there when Josh and I got there. She welcomed an extra body in the classroom. Since the school year ended in December she came back to the US the same time we did. Recently I learned that she was going to go back to Bhutan to open a preschool. As I read her blog posts I wonder if we were actually in the same country. She speaks of how friendly the people are and how beautiful the culture is. Seriously where is she? Liz is not the only one either; it seems like everyone who has ever traveled to Bhutan absolutely loves it. Quite frankly, I was jealous of her experience for a long time.

Josh and I have had Bhutanese people on our hearts since before we were married. On several occasions I had asked Josh if he could go anywhere in the world, where would it be. His response was always Bhutan. Because it is so difficult to get into the country I never saw this as an option. When the opportunity to go came our way, we couldn’t say no. This was God letting us serve Him in Bhutan, and I still believe that is true.

So why didn’t Iove it? Why after praying for the people for years do I have such a negative view of the country? Why couldn’t I have experience what Liz did? After wrestling with these questions over the past four months, I think I have my answer. Bhutan has a very rich culture. But almost everything about the culture is Buddhist.

The paintings, the music, the decorations, the architecture, it is all tied to Buddhism. If I fell in love with Bhutanese culture, it would be equivalent to falling in love with a Buddhist culture. And Buddhism is just so ugly!

You couldn't look at creation without seeing the enemy.

My heart still breaks for the people of Bhutan.

They are so blinded by evil that they cannot see Truth. The lies of Buddhism keep the mask over their faces so they cannot see the Glory of God. I am still praying for the country, but I don’t want to go back.